Have you ever heard a story so absurd, so utterly unbelievable, that it just has to be true? The British panel show Would I Lie to You? is built on this very premise, but no one embodies this principle better than the legendary comedian Bob Mortimer. His tales are a masterclass in surrealist comedy, and none are more famous or more frequently searched for than the iconic Would I Lie To You Horse Story. This single, brilliantly told anecdote perfectly captures the magic of the show and the unique genius of the man who told it. It’s a story that has left millions crying with laughter and scratching their heads in bewildered amusement.
For the uninitiated, Would I Lie to You? (often abbreviated as WILTY) features two teams, captained by comedians Lee Mack and David Mitchell. Each round, a contestant reads a statement from a card, and the opposing team must guess whether it’s a truth or a lie by cross-examining them. While the format is simple, the show’s brilliance comes from the hilarious and often deeply strange personal stories shared by the guests. This is a world where truth is frequently stranger than fiction, a concept explored in many amazing true horse stories. And in this world, Bob Mortimer is the undisputed king.
The Architect of Absurdity: Bob Mortimer
Before diving into the story itself, it’s crucial to understand the storyteller. Bob Mortimer isn’t just a guest on Would I Lie to You?; he is an event. When he appears, viewers know they are in for a treat. His style is unique; he delivers the most outlandish claims with a deadpan, almost childlike sincerity that makes it impossible to get a read on him. He weaves in bizarre details, peculiar names, and mundane observations that ground his fantastical stories in a strange, believable reality.
His tales often involve childhood misadventures, strange encounters with celebrities, or ill-conceived personal projects. From claiming he can break an apple in half with his bare hands (and then doing it) to his adventures in home dentistry, Bob’s life appears to be a content mill for the absurd. It is this reputation that set the stage perfectly for the moment he decided to share his unforgettable horse story.
The Claim: “I Once Used a Horse as a Lilo”
The story that has become a legend began with a simple, yet profoundly baffling, statement from Bob’s card: “I once used a horse as a lilo.” The studio audience erupted in laughter, and the panel, particularly the ever-incredulous David Mitchell, looked utterly broken. The very concept is pure Mortimer: it combines a familiar object (a lilo, or inflatable raft) with a completely inappropriate substitute (a live horse) in a situation that defies all logic.
Bob began to paint the picture. He explained that he was on holiday in a “very, very small village.” He and his friends were staying in a cottage and had spent the day at the local pub. Upon their return, they discovered a horse in their front room. This first detail is already a huge comedic hurdle. How does a horse get into a cottage’s front room? Bob, in his typical fashion, brushes past this with a casual air, as if it were a common occurrence, like finding a spider in the bath. He then explained that the room had flooded, with about two feet of water sloshing around. So now the scene is set: a flooded living room, and a horse, standing patiently in the water.
An artistic depiction of the would i lie to you horse story, showing a confused horse standing in a flooded, dimly lit living room.
Weaving the Bizarre Narrative
As David Mitchell and Lee Mack’s teams tried to poke holes in the story, Bob only added more layers of delightful absurdity. He explained that the horse, which he and his friends nicknamed “Alan,” was very calm. To handle the flood, they decided to form a “human chain” to bail out the water using kitchen utensils—specifically, a colander and a gravy boat. The image of four men, presumably tipsy, passing a gravy boat of floodwater down a line while a horse watches on is comedy gold.
The “lilo” part of the claim came next. Bob described how, in a moment of drunken inspiration, he decided to lie on the horse’s back as it stood in the water. He claimed it was “very relaxing,” like a “hairy lilo.” He even specified the breed of horse—a “big fell pony”—a detail that adds a veneer of authenticity. He fended off questions with masterful ease. Why didn’t they call a vet? “It was the 80s,” he replied, as if that explained everything. The story shares a certain unbelievable quality with other incredible equine tales, such as the story behind cody’s wish horse, which also tests the limits of credulity.
David Mitchell, in his role as the voice of logic and reason, became increasingly exasperated. He questioned the structural integrity of the cottage floor, the temperament of the horse, and the sheer physics of the situation. Yet, for every logical objection, Bob had a simple, slightly-off-kilter answer that made the story feel, against all odds, just plausible enough.
Truth or Lie: The Unveiling of the Would I Lie to You Horse Story
After a prolonged and hilarious interrogation, it was time for the reveal. The teams were split. The story was so detailed, so specific in its weirdness, that it felt like it couldn’t possibly be invented. But at the same time, it was a story about using a horse as a flotation device in a flooded living room. Lee Mack’s team, taking a leap of faith, ultimately guessed that Bob was telling the truth.
And he was.
The card was flipped to reveal “True,” and the studio went wild. Bob calmly explained the backstory. The cottage was next to a field of fell ponies, and during a flash flood, one of them had panicked and kicked its way through the flimsy wall of the cottage, ending up in the front room. The rest of the story, from the gravy boat to the “hairy lilo” moment, was, according to Bob, exactly as it happened. The confirmation that this masterpiece of surrealism was a genuine life event cemented its place in television history.
The Legacy of a Legendary Tale
So why did this particular story resonate so deeply with audiences? It’s a perfect storm of comedic elements.
- The Perfect Storyteller: Bob Mortimer’s delivery is everything. His gentle, unblinking sincerity sells the story completely. He never breaks character or winks at the audience.
- Surreal Imagery: The mental pictures the story creates are unforgettable. A horse in a living room, a human chain with a gravy boat, and a man relaxing on a pony’s back are images straight out of a bizarre dream.
- The Foil: David Mitchell’s reaction is just as important as Bob’s telling. His logical mind crumbles in the face of such beautiful nonsense, and his frustrated, desperate attempts to apply reason to the unreasonable are incredibly funny. He is the audience’s surrogate, trying and failing to make sense of the chaos.
This moment has become a benchmark for the show and for Bob Mortimer’s comedic persona. It is frequently cited as one of the funniest moments in British television history. It perfectly demonstrates the core appeal of Would I Lie to You?—that the mundane truth can often be far more entertaining and unbelievable than any lie. It reminds us that life is often absurd, a theme also seen in anecdotes like a farmer and his horse story.
The would i lie to you horse story is more than just a funny anecdote. It’s a testament to the power of storytelling, the joy of the absurd, and the simple fact that sometimes, the strangest things happen. It proves that a man, a horse, and a flooded living room can come together to create a moment of pure, unadulterated comedic genius that will be remembered and retold for years to come.
