Delia Ephron’s collection of essays offers a poignant and insightful journey through her life, particularly her experiences with her late sister, the renowned Nora Ephron. This compilation delves into themes of sisterhood, the complexities of grief, the challenges and triumphs of a writing career, and the intricate dynamics of family. While some pieces may feel disparate due to their previous publication in various outlets, the strength and emotional resonance of the majority of the essays make this a highly recommended read for anyone who appreciates thoughtful reflection and compelling storytelling.
A Sister’s Bond and the Shadow of Grief
The collection opens with “Losing Nora,” a deeply moving essay that chronicles Delia’s relationship with her sister and the profound grief that followed Nora’s passing from cancer in 2012. This essay sets a tone of vulnerability and honesty, exploring the unique bond between sisters and the difficult process of caregiving, which often blurs the lines between love, duty, and the impending sense of loss. Delia reflects on the dream of parental acceptance and ponders if a similar desire for acknowledgment exists within sisterhood, questioning if she sought Nora’s recognition of her own strength and resilience during that challenging time.
The Craft and Calling of Writing
Beyond the deeply personal, Ephron shares her extensive experiences as a screenwriter. She describes screenwriting as a “seductive” and “playful” endeavor, acknowledging its inherent difficulty but also its immense capacity for enjoyment, so much so that it can create an “illusion of easy.” She candidly admits to falling in love with each screenplay she writes, convinced of its potential for production. Ephron also offers invaluable advice to aspiring writers, emphasizing the importance of discipline and self-understanding. She advocates for focusing on one’s unique abilities, stating, “Only do what you can do.” This approach, she argues, prevents unhealthy competition and encourages writers to delve inward for authenticity rather than chase external trends. “Your writing is your fingerprint,” she asserts, highlighting the role of writing in self-discovery and the continuous exploration of one’s thoughts, loves, and perspectives. Her personal philosophy on writing is further reinforced by the advice of her shrink: the necessity of sitting at a desk daily, transforming writing from an uncertain question into a consistent habit.
Family, Identity, and Resilience
Ephron’s essays also illuminate the often-complicated relationships within her family. She touches upon her early marriage and her journey to becoming a writer, weaving in observations about her relationship with her mother, whom she describes as an alcoholic before the disease was widely understood. This familial history has left a lasting impact, shaping her into someone who experiences “free-floating anxiety” and a tendency to “recheck everything obsessively.” Yet, alongside this inherited anxiety, she acknowledges the “day version” of her mother as a source of “destiny, identity, structure, discipline, drive,” suggesting a complex legacy of both challenges and strengths. Ephron also shares insights into her parents’ sayings and their approach to family, including the notion that “All siblings have different parents,” as each child experiences their parents at different stages of life and in unique ways.
Conclusion: A Testament to Life’s Tapestry
Delia Ephron’s essays provide a rich tapestry of personal reflection, professional insight, and emotional honesty. Through her engaging prose, readers are invited to contemplate the profound nature of sisterhood, the arduous yet rewarding path of a writer, and the enduring influence of family. While not every essay may resonate equally, the collection as a whole offers a thoughtful and ultimately inspiring exploration of life’s complexities, making it a compelling read for fans of Nora Ephron and anyone who appreciates candid storytelling.
