Understanding the true meaning of respect in the human-dog relationship is crucial for fostering a strong bond. Many people mistakenly believe that showing respect means asserting dominance or being the “alpha.” However, this is a misconception. True respect is not about fear or control; it’s about mutual understanding and considerate interaction. You cannot demand or force respect; it is something that is earned and given freely in return. If you consistently show respect to others, you are likely to receive it back, and the same principle applies to our canine companions. When dogs exhibit behaviors that seem disrespectful, it’s often because they are simply out of control, not because they are intentionally defying you. Our role as owners is to guide them, offering the respect they deserve.
The more profound question, therefore, is not how to get respect from your dog, but rather, how to give respect to your dog. The answer lies in acknowledging and treating your dog as the wonderful canine they are.
Mistaking your dog for a human can inadvertently lead to disrespect. Your dog is a unique creature with its own needs, communication methods, and ways of experiencing the world. Recognizing and honoring their canine nature is fundamental. While an entire book could be dedicated to this, here are six key skills to help you give respect to your dog and, in turn, receive their respect:
Listen More Than You Talk
A significant portion of a dog’s communication, approximately 95%, is non-verbal, conveyed through body language and energy. Dogs do not understand human languages like English, Spanish, or Chinese. Instead, they interpret subtle cues, postures, and emotional states. While 90% of dog owners struggle to understand this silent language, becoming proficient in reading your dog’s body language is essential. Cultivate curiosity and make an effort to learn and understand their unique way of communicating.
Understand Your Relationship Dynamics
Clearly define your role within the relationship. Are you the parent or the guardian? If your dog doesn’t perceive you as the decision-maker, they are unlikely to listen to you. Animals, like humans, tend to follow those who take responsibility and make clear decisions, rather than those who remain passive. Embracing your role as a guardian involves teaching boundaries and educating your dog, which is a rewarding responsibility. This role is a privilege you choose, not a right you are entitled to.
Master Your Own Self-Control
Your dog’s ability to listen and cooperate willingly is directly linked to your own self-control. If you are unable to manage your own emotions and body language, it is unreasonable to expect your dog to respond cooperatively. Developing control over your mental state and outward expressions is a skill that may require practice and relearning.
Be Aware of Your Dog’s State of Mind
It’s vital to meet your dog where they are, acknowledging their current emotional and mental state. Be sensitive to their feelings and adjust your approach accordingly, rather than trying to force your training agenda upon them. Dogs are not automatons that simply follow commands; they are sentient beings whose responses are influenced by their internal state.
Communicate with Clarity
Ensure your training and expectations are clear. Define explicitly what your dog is allowed to do and what is off-limits, always acting in their best interest. Consistency in your rules helps your dog understand their boundaries and feel more secure.
Live in the Present Moment
Dogs are masters of living in the present. They don’t dwell on the past or worry excessively about the future. As their owner, it’s beneficial to adopt this mindful approach. Avoid letting your thoughts spiral into anxieties about what might happen or regrets about past events. Simply be present with your dog.
By implementing these skills, you actively demonstrate respect for your dog, creating a foundation for a reciprocal relationship built on trust and understanding. This approach not only strengthens your bond but also leads to a more harmonious and well-behaved canine companion.
The journey of earning your dog’s respect is ongoing, requiring patience, consistency, and a genuine commitment to understanding their needs. By focusing on giving respect, you naturally cultivate a deeper connection with your furry friend, leading to a more fulfilling partnership. Remember, a dog that feels respected is more likely to offer their loyalty and companionship in return.
