When we talk about parrot ownership, the word “bonding” comes up frequently. While the dictionary defines bonding as establishing a relationship based on shared feelings, interests, or experiences, for parrot enthusiasts, it signifies a much deeper connection. The level of bonding we share with our parrots reflects the trust we’ve earned. It’s what allows them to forgive our mistakes and is evident when they snuggle close, falling asleep without hesitation. Ultimately, bonding is the ultimate goal for any parrot owner.
Many hesitate to rehome or rescue a bird, believing they’ve missed the window for bonding. They might assume the bird is already bonded to someone else and incapable of forming a new relationship, or that past trauma from losing a bond will relegate them to being merely a caregiver. Some even believe true bonds can only be formed when a bird is very young, leading them to seek out unweaned babies. Unfortunately, this can lead inexperienced owners into dangerous situations with unscrupulous breeders.
However, I can state with absolute certainty that neither a bird’s age nor imprinting dictates its willingness to form a lasting bond with you. Many parrots have demonstrated the ability to form close relationships with multiple humans throughout their lives. In fact, with a baby bird, having multiple people involved in its upbringing is beneficial. A well-socialized bird that trusts humans in general increases the likelihood of easy bonding with you and other household members. For rescued or rehomed birds with past negative human experiences, earning trust requires more effort, patience, and understanding. From personal experience, the hard-earned relationship with such a bird is incredibly rewarding, proving that even a bird with a difficult past can be won over with the right approach.
The Nuances of Parrot Bonding
The primary force shaping the bonding process is experience. Two types of experiences significantly impact bonding success:
- Negative Human Experiences: A bird that has endured numerous negative interactions with people may understandably be reluctant to trust. This is common with rescued birds. While some rehomed birds with former strong relationships might suffer from abandonment issues that need addressing, most birds that have loved humans in the past can learn to love again.
- Lack of Positive Human Experiences: Some pet store birds arrive in their new homes with this challenge. Many have had minimal handling and, consequently, little positive interaction with humans from which to form an evaluation. They may be hesitant to trust until they experience enough positive interactions that build confidence in your trustworthiness.
Perhaps the most detrimental experience is when established trust is broken. This often manifests as behavioral problems like screaming or biting—the bird’s way of communicating that things are amiss or have changed. This situation is incredibly frustrating for both parrots and their owners, leading to heightened emotions and feelings of betrayal. The bird feels disrespected by a perceived injustice, while the owner feels inexplicably attacked by their bird.
Often, amidst the confusion, the root cause is overlooked. Owners would benefit from understanding that biting and screaming are not the actions of “bad” birds seeking to cause distress, but rather their primary means of communication. Birds mainly communicate through body language, something humans are not adept at interpreting. When body language fails to convey that something is wrong, biting or screaming becomes their remaining recourse. If your typically well-behaved bird exhibits such behavior, resist responding with aggression. Instead, focus on finding a solution before the situation escalates and deteriorates your relationship.
Learn how to restore your bird’s relationship.
Patty Jourgensen specializes in avian health, behavior, and nutrition and has been working with and caring for rescue birds since 1987.
