Dogs are often perceived as being out of control because they lack control. As a professional dog trainer with extensive experience, I’ve observed a consistent pattern: for a dog to live safely and harmoniously with its owner, it must habitually look to its human for guidance and follow their lead. However, this focus on owner-imposed control is only part of the equation. True training involves not only teaching dogs to follow commands but also preparing them to make better choices independently. This often-overlooked aspect addresses a deeper issue: the fundamental way we relate to our dogs. By understanding your dog’s perspective and the reasons behind their problematic behaviors, you can implement changes that benefit both you and your canine companion.
Imagine living a life where almost every decision is made for you: what you eat, where you go, your healthcare, your exercise, who you interact with, and even how your body is touched. Consider a life where you can only leave your home on a leash, with someone else dictating your direction, duration, and interactions. You lack the freedom to react naturally to your surroundings, relying entirely on verbal cues from a guide who doesn’t speak your language. This scenario, while frightening for a human, is the reality for many dogs. It’s no wonder we’re seeing an increase in behaviors like aggression and anxiety. Without a basic sense of control over their lives, a dog’s emotional well-being can quickly deteriorate.
Why the Overemphasis on Control?
Several factors contribute to our tendency to exert significant control over our dogs:
1. Owner Education and Understanding
As we consider our dogs family members, it’s easy to overlook the distinct differences in how humans and dogs experience the world. Failing to educate ourselves on canine needs does our dogs a disservice. When you learn about your dog’s unique perspective and experiences, it becomes a powerful motivator for change in your relationship. Skilled trainers emphasize not just obedience but also cooperation and focus, fostering a team dynamic where the dog learns to navigate situations alongside you, rather than being subservient. This creates a deeply rewarding bond that many miss out on.
2. Lifestyle Choices and Unhealthy Habits
Our dogs can serve as vital warning systems, highlighting unhealthy aspects of our own lives through their behavior. My interactions with dedicated dog owners and their pets have profoundly influenced my own life. Prioritizing eight hours of sleep, moving to a calm environment with fresh air, and refusing to rush have become essential. I focus on nourishing my body with good food and regular exercise, balancing work and life, and actively managing stress. This self-care approach extends to recognizing that a dog’s behavioral issues can be a gift, prompting crucial self-reflection about our own lifestyle.
3. Unbalanced Relationships and Emotional Awareness
We often lack awareness of our dog’s emotional states because we are frequently disconnected from our own. Long work hours, a lack of self-care, excessive technology use, and superficial human connections can leave a void that dogs naturally fill with their unwavering enthusiasm, affection, and companionship. While dogs cherish being our best friends, we must also consider the other elements crucial for their fulfilling lives.
4. Mind Over Body in Training
A troubling trend in modern dog training is the excessive focus on a dog’s physical actions. Addressing growling by simply stopping the growl, or preventing jumping by physically barring the action, misses the bigger picture. Effective dog training aims to change a dog’s underlying mindset, not just their physical responses. By helping dogs problem-solve and fostering a collaborative spirit, we can alter their emotional responses to various situations. For instance, instead of just stopping a growl, a trainer works to alleviate the underlying fear or negative association. Similarly, teaching a dog to remain calm around guests or practicing focus exercises when off-leash transforms their perception of their human into a positive experience. When a dog’s mind is shaped to cooperate and their expectations are positively altered, dictating their body’s actions becomes unnecessary.
5. Cultural Stigma and Mental Well-being
A significant cultural stigma surrounds the mental and emotional well-being of both dogs and humans. While we readily address a dog’s physical pain by seeking veterinary care, their mental and emotional health is often neglected. However, adopting the mantra “behavior is language” can shift our perspective. Dogs have no consistent way to communicate internal emotional turmoil; they rely on us to recognize signs of distress, such as depression, anxiety, or fear, and to take appropriate action. Treating your dog’s mind with the same importance as their body will lead to a happier and more manageable companion.
As psychiatrist Viktor Frankl noted, “Everything can be taken from man, but the last of the human freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given circumstance and to choose one’s own way.” As dog owners, we must thoughtfully balance the necessary control that ensures our dogs’ safety with investing the time to teach them skills that ultimately grant them greater freedom.
