As pet owners, we often find ourselves drawing parallels between our animal companions and our human relationships, especially when it comes to training and learning. This was recently highlighted by the story of a young bay gelding, a four-year-old horse brought in for training. The horse had only a limited riding history before being entrusted to a teenage girl. While her intentions were undoubtedly good, her skill level wasn’t quite aligned with the horse’s needs. Her struggles with balance led to inconsistent aids, inadvertently causing her to pull on the horse’s mouth. She also tended to grip with her legs, resulting in a bouncing ride and sending mixed signals. Understandably, the horse became unsure and insecure, often stopping. This reaction was met with corrections from the rider, such as kicking or further rein pulling. The horse understood it was being corrected but lacked the understanding of why or what to do next. This cycle continued until the horse became unresponsive, eventually resorting to bucking. This behavior, while problematic, seemed entirely reasonable given the circumstances, and was explained to the owner.
Imagine starting a new job with a company owner who provides instructions that are unclear and confusing. You’re eager to learn, but when you try to ask for clarification, the owner yells, telling you to “just do it!” Still uncertain, but fearing further reprimand, you attempt the task, feeling a constant sense of doubt. You’re left guessing the owner’s expectations without any positive reinforcement or feedback on what you might be doing correctly. If you make a mistake, the owner’s reaction is abrupt and critical, accompanied by complaints about your slow learning pace. By the end of the day, both you and the owner are left frustrated, with the owner expressing clear dissatisfaction and ignoring your questions. You leave feeling unhappy and disheartened.
The following morning, you approach work with a sense of anxiety and dread. The day unfolds much like the previous one: more unclear instructions, a dismissive attitude towards your questions, and heightened frustration from the owner. Your own feelings of frustration and anger grow, mingled with fear and anxiety. The thought of returning to work the next day becomes a source of significant stress.
This pattern continues for a couple of weeks. Now, your pay is being docked for poor performance, and the verbal reprimands intensify, still without addressing your questions. You begin to feel that you were never given a fair chance to succeed and that you’ve been treated unfairly and unkindly. Both parties are experiencing a range of negative emotions towards each other. This situation is clearly escalating towards a breaking point.
Depending on your personality, your reaction might vary. You might decide to quit, or simply stop showing up to avoid confrontation. You could retaliate with anger, yelling back at the owner. Alternatively, you might feel victimized, experiencing fear and anxiety whenever the owner is present. Regardless of the specific reaction, the underlying emotions are resentment, anger, upset, and frustration. You no longer enjoy your job and wish to have no further dealings with the owner.
The similarities between this hypothetical job scenario and the bay gelding’s reality are striking. The horse experienced unclear directions, a lack of constructive feedback, corrections delivered in frustration, unfair punishments, no rewards, and never had his “questions” answered. The gelding felt fear, anxiety, frustration, and anger. His initial response was to “quit” by disengaging. When pushed further, his escalated reaction was to buck. It was entirely logical that when he was not permitted to disengage, he would react physically in the only way he knew how. The gelding was defensive and resentful, disliked his “job,” and wanted nothing to do with people. It’s easy to understand why he felt that way.
However, with clear cues and aids, fair corrections and rewards, and consistent time, patience, and training, the gelding began to improve. He developed a willingness to “try” and started to enjoy his work and interacting with people again. He possessed many positive qualities and a pleasant personality, ultimately becoming a wonderful partner for the right owner.
Sometimes, when faced with behavioral issues in horses, we tend to label them as stubborn, unintelligent, lazy, or argumentative. When these thoughts arise, it’s beneficial to reflect on our own actions and reactions. Is our communication clear? Have we been consistent with timely rewards? Have our corrections been fair? Have we truly listened to what the horse is communicating? Have we addressed the horse’s “questions”? Are we being patient and kind? Have our behaviors conveyed to the horse that we are a safe person with whom they can build a relationship? By applying these principles, we can foster connection, value, and partnership with our horses. These principles, it turns out, work remarkably well with humans too.
