Many cat owners dream of a furry companion curled up on their lap, purring contentedly. While genetics and early socialization play a role in a cat’s inclination towards being a lap cat, it’s often possible to encourage this behavior with patience and the right approach. This guide offers seven practical tips to help foster a closer, more affectionate bond with your feline friend, potentially turning them into a cherished lap cat.
Tip 1: Create a Secure Environment
A cat needs to feel safe and secure before they will relax enough to be vulnerable on your lap. If your home environment is stressful or chaotic, your cat might not feel comfortable exhibiting such trusting behavior. In a multi-cat household, a shy cat might also be hesitant to emerge from hiding. Assess your living space to ensure it offers consistency, security, and comfort. Consider introducing a cat perch, a cat tree, or several hiding spots where your cat can feel at ease within the same room as you. This foundational security is crucial for building the trust necessary for lap-time.
Tip 2: Be a Calm and Trustworthy Presence
Before inviting your cat onto your lap, take some “pre-lap” precautions. Ensure your mobile phone is on silent and not wedged in your pocket, as sudden movements to retrieve it can startle your cat. Keep your voice soft and comforting when speaking to others in the room or on the phone. A loud laugh or shout can send your cat scurrying away. Consistency and trust are paramount. If you’ve ever used physical punishment or harsh reprimands, your cat will understandably be reluctant to engage in close physical contact. Rebuilding this trust requires consistent, positive interactions. Address unwanted behaviors by understanding their root cause and establishing acceptable alternatives, rather than resorting to punishment. Engaging in regular interactive play sessions will help your cat associate your presence with positive experiences and can significantly strengthen your bond, especially if it has been damaged in the past.
Tip 3: Make it Rewarding for Your Cat
A little bit of “bribery” can go a long way in enticing your cat to approach your lap. If you’re working with a timid cat, opt for sitting on a sofa rather than a chair, as this gives your cat a sense of more control as they cautiously approach. Chairs with high arms can make a cat feel trapped. Keep a supply of treats readily available and gently toss them one by one onto the floor in front of you. If your cat responds positively, toss a treat onto the couch, gradually moving closer until you can place a treat on your lap. During this process, resist the urge to reach out and pet or hold your cat. Allow them to feel completely free, even when they do venture onto your lap. This trust-building step is vital for them to feel safe enough to settle there in the future.
Tip 4: Correctly Interpret Your Cat’s Body Language
It’s easy to mistake a cat’s approach for a desire for snuggles, but they might be communicating something else entirely. Vocalizing or pacing in front of you could indicate a request for food, playtime, or another form of attention – they might be in “play-mode” rather than “affection-mode.” If your cat attempts to settle on your lap but becomes restless, exhibits tail flicking, skin twitching, or ear positions resembling airplane wings, they might be feeling irritated. In your excitement, you might have started petting them when they’ve reached their tolerance level. Petting-induced aggression can easily occur if a cat is trying to nap or simply doesn’t want to be stimulated by continuous petting. Even without overt aggression, if your cat clearly signals they don’t want to be petted, they will likely bolt from your lap and may be hesitant to return.
Tip 5: Pet Your Cat the Right Way
If your cat does enjoy petting, ensure the experience remains positive by respecting their preferences. Pet them to relax them, not to overstimulate them. Some cats prefer long, gentle strokes, while others respond better to shorter strokes that don’t cover their entire body. Observe if your cat shows discomfort when you stroke near the base of their tail, as this can be a sensitive area for many felines. If your cat stretches out of your lap, resist the temptation to hold their paws, as most cats prefer their paws to be left undisturbed.
Tip 6: Never Trick Your Cat
To foster trust and encourage your cat to view your lap as a safe and comfortable place, avoid tricking them. Using their time on your lap to administer medication or trim their nails will create a negative association and undermine your efforts.
Tip 7: Always Give Your Cat the Freedom to Move Away
If your cat begins to squirm or attempts to move away or jump down, do not restrain them. Knowing they have the freedom to leave as they please will make them more likely to return to your lap in the future. Holding them against their will can make them view proximity to you as an unpleasant experience. Even if your cat only stays on your lap for a few seconds, maintaining a positive and relaxed atmosphere can encourage them to stay a little longer next time. This gradual approach is a great starting point for building a more affectionate relationship.
For further insights into cat behavior and training, consult the best-selling books by Pam Johnson-Bennett. These resources are available in bookstores and online.
If you have concerns about your cat’s behavior or health, please consult your veterinarian. This article is intended for general informational purposes only and does not serve as a substitute for professional veterinary care.
