Teaching your puppy to “come” and “stay” are two of the most critical commands for their safety, your peace of mind, and harmonious living. These foundational behaviors provide essential control in various situations, from preventing your dog from running into danger to politely managing their excitement when guests arrive. Mastering these commands builds a strong bond of trust and communication between you and your furry companion, making everyday life much easier and safer. Understanding these basic principles can also lay the groundwork for other vital obedience skills, such as knowing how to train a dog to only pee outside when you’re house-training.
Teaching Your Puppy the “Come” Command (Recall)
The “come” command, or recall, is arguably the most vital behavior your puppy can learn. It’s a lifesaver, allowing you to call your dog back from potentially dangerous situations, whether they’re darting towards a busy street or approaching something unsafe. A reliable recall gives your puppy more freedom while ensuring their safety.
Start in a Quiet Environment
Begin teaching “come” in a low-distraction environment, like your living room or a securely fenced yard. Get down to your puppy’s level, show them an enticing treat or toy, and excitedly say their name followed by “Come!” (e.g., “Buddy, Come!”). As they move towards you, praise them enthusiastically (“Good come!”), and reward them with the treat or toy once they reach you. Make it a celebration! Repeat this several times in short, fun sessions.
Make it a Game
Turn recall into a joyful game. Have a family member hold your puppy a short distance away. You call your puppy, and as they come, the other person releases them with praise. Swap roles. You can also play “hide-and-seek” by hiding a short distance away and calling your puppy, making them actively seek you out. Always make coming to you the most rewarding experience possible.
Introduce a Long Line and Distractions
Once your puppy reliably comes indoors, move to a fenced outdoor area. Attach a long line (15-30 feet) to their harness. Let them explore, then gently step on the line to prevent them from running too far, and call them back. If they hesitate, gently guide them with the line while continuing to call and encourage. Gradually introduce mild distractions like toys, other family members, or calm dogs, always returning to a high-value reward and praise for success. Remember, consistency is key when training any new command. For example, similar consistent effort is required for skills like knowing how to train your dog from pulling on leash.
Mastering the “Stay” Command
A solid “stay” command teaches your dog to hold a specific position until you release them. This is incredibly useful for managing household manners, preventing door dashing, or simply getting your dog to remain calm in exciting situations. A well-executed “stay” shows a high level of impulse control and responsiveness.
Stay Until You’re Released
Unlike the cue “wait,” which means hold on for a moment, “stay” means stay in a specific position until a dog is released. Technically, if you ask your dog to stay while you go out to get the mail, even if you’re gone for an hour chatting with the neighbor, your dog should still be in the exact same spot when you return.
But what does it mean to release your dog? A release cue is a word you use to tell your dog they’re free to move. It’s used to end a behavior. In fact, you can use a release word with any behavior. For example, you can teach your dog to sit or lie down until they are released, in effect building an automatic stay into the position. However you choose to use your release word, use it consistently and exclusively to let your dog know the behavior is done. Common release words are “okay,” “free,” and “release.” Just be aware that “okay” is a word we use often in day-to-day speech, so be careful you don’t accidentally release your dog at the wrong time.
Start Small to Teach the Release
To train a successful stay behavior, you need to start small and build slowly. Your first step is to teach your dog what their release word means. The following steps will get you started:
- Ask your dog to sit or lie down.
- After one second, calmly offer your dog a treat and immediately say your release word.
- Encourage your dog to get up after you’ve given the release. You can walk away, pat your legs, clap your hands, etc., to get your dog up and moving.
- Praise your dog when they move.
- Repeat the above steps until your dog understands they can move after they hear the release word.
A Boerboel puppy sitting calmly in profile in a backyard setting
Add Duration to the Stay
Now you’re ready to start adding the three Ds of duration, distance, and distraction. Start with duration and leave the other Ds for later. Ensure you stay with your dog and eliminate any distractions in the environment. You’re also ready to add the cue “stay.” These steps will build duration:
- Ask your dog to sit or lie down.
- As soon as they sit/lie down, hold your hand straight out in front of you like you’re making a stop sign and say the word “stay.”
- Wait a second or two, then calmly give your dog a treat.
- Release your dog and praise them when they move.
- Now, after asking for the stay, wait a few more seconds before treating then releasing your dog.
- Build the duration a few seconds at a time.
- Once you’ve built to 10 seconds or more, you can begin to treat your dog multiple times during the stay. Calmly offer treats every so often and repeat your stay cue and hand signal to remind your dog they aren’t yet finished.
You don’t want your dog to ever realize the fun of releasing themselves. That’s why it’s better to take baby steps than try to push the limits. Set your dog up for success and don’t ask for too much, too soon. In addition, realize that “stay” is boring for dogs. Therefore, it’s essential to reward the stay and not the release, otherwise you’ll make the release more rewarding than the stay itself. For the same reason, if you use a clicker to train your dog, click during the stay before you offer a reward, but don’t click your dog when they move on the release. Just in case your dog thinks the click means the behavior is over, repeat your stay cue and hand signal after you click and treat. Consistent training for “stay” is just as important as knowing how to teach your dog to stop pulling on leash.
Troubleshoot ‘Stay’
When you’re teaching your dog to stay, it’s important to watch your body language. Movement may lure the dog towards you, and they’ll consequently break position. Your dog is used to being in front of you for training, so anytime you move backward, they’ll want to follow. And what do you do if your dog breaks their stay before they are released? First, don’t punish the dog. Chances are you did something to lure them up or you asked for too much too soon. Simply repeat your cues and start over, taking a few steps back in your training to ensure success.
Add Distractions and Distance to “Stay”
Only add distractions and distance after you’ve built duration to at least 30 seconds. As distance has some distraction built in, you’re best to leave that for last. When you begin to add a new “D,” be sure you relax your expectations for the others. So, when you begin to add distractions, even if your dog can stay for 2 minutes, go back to asking for only a few seconds when the distraction is present. Start with small distractions like clapping your hands, then gradually build up to larger distractions like throwing a ball. After your dog is staying through any distraction, you can start to build duration again. This gradual approach is similar to teaching how to train a big dog to stop pulling on leash, where you add challenges incrementally.
When your dog can achieve 30-second stays with distractions, you’re ready to add distance. Again, lower your duration expectations and minimize distractions for this part of the process. The following steps will help you build distance:
- Ask your dog to stay then take a single step back.
- Immediately return to your dog and give them a treat.
- Release your dog.
- Repeat the above steps but take two steps away before returning to your dog to treat, then release them.
- Slowly increase the distance until you can walk to the edge of the room.
Always return to your dog before releasing them. If you release them from far away, you can’t reward them while they’re staying. Plus, they may come to think a certain distance is a cue to release and approach you. When your dog can handle all three Ds on their own, it’s time to combine them and up the challenge by leaving the room or going outside. Take your time and build slowly, and your dog will have a rock-solid stay no matter what.
A Boxer puppy standing alertly on top of a wooden crate outdoors with soft background flowers
Combining “Come” and “Stay” (Advanced Practice)
Once your puppy has a good grasp of both “come” and “stay” individually, you can start practicing them in sequence and in increasingly complex scenarios. For example, ask your puppy to “stay” while you walk away, then call them to “come.” Reward their successful recall, and then perhaps ask for another “stay” before releasing them. This helps reinforce both commands and shows your puppy that obedience is fluid and adaptable to different situations. Consistency in these advanced exercises helps ensure your dog is well-behaved in all circumstances, even if you are trying to learn how to train a stubborn dog to potty outside.
Conclusion
Teaching your puppy to “come” and “stay” are indispensable investments in their safety, your peace of mind, and your shared life together. By following these steps patiently and consistently, using positive reinforcement, and gradually increasing distractions and distance, you will build a strong foundation of obedience. Remember that every puppy learns at their own pace, so celebrate small victories and maintain a positive, encouraging attitude. A well-trained dog is a joy to live with, and these commands are key to a happy, healthy relationship.
