How to Get Your Dog Out of Your Bed (And Keep Your Partner Happy)

Belgian Malinois lying on owner's bed under the blanket

The undeniable bond we share with our canine companions often extends to the bedroom, with many dogs seeking the comfort and security of sleeping next to their humans. For countless dog owners, the idea of a furry cuddle buddy is mutual, leading to a shared bed at night. However, this cozy arrangement can become a point of contention when partners have differing views on canine cohabitation, creating a dilemma: How To Get A Dog Out Of Your Bed without compromising your relationship or your dog’s well-being. This guide will explore common objections and offer practical solutions to help navigate this sensitive topic.

Addressing the “Hygiene” Objection

Often, the first line of argument against a dog in the bed revolves around hygiene. Yet, clinical psychologist Dr. Joel Gavriele-Gold, author of When Pets Come Between Partners, suggests that hygiene is rarely the core issue. Instead of dismissing the concern, he recommends breaking it down. What does “unhygienic” truly mean to your partner? Are they worried about simple dirt, infections, or infestations?

Dogs, much like children, can certainly get dirty. A fun day at the park, a sandy beach trip, or a muddy hike can leave paws and fur less than pristine. In such cases, the solution is straightforward: a bath. Dr. Gavriele-Gold clarifies, “If you want the dog in the bed and the dog is dirty, give it a bath.” He further notes that genuine germ transmission is uncommon. “Unless the dog has some kind of skin thing going on, dogs are not transmitting any diseases.” This perspective reframes the hygiene debate from an insurmountable barrier to a manageable cleaning task, demonstrating that a clean dog can be a welcome bed companion.

Belgian Malinois lying on owner's bed under the blanketBelgian Malinois lying on owner's bed under the blanket

Debunking Sleep Disturbance Myths

Another frequent argument against sharing a bed with a dog is the belief that it disrupts human sleep. While the presence of any additional body in a bed—be it a toddler or a puppy—carries the potential for disturbance, studies suggest that dogs might actually improve sleep habits for many. The gentle, deep rhythm of your dog’s breathing can synchronize with yours, promoting a meditative and mindful state conducive to rest. Furthermore, with a body temperature typically three to six degrees higher than humans, dogs can offer comforting warmth, particularly in colder climates.

Of course, if a dog’s presence genuinely compounds existing sleep issues, Dr. Gavriele-Gold concedes, “Sleep issues could be compounded, in which case the dog loses. The dog is out.” However, if your partner’s worries about sleep inefficiency are more hypothetical than experienced, scientific evidence can be reassuring. A study by the Mayo Clinic involving 40 adult dogs and their owners, all fitted with movement trackers, found that even when dogs woke their owners, the impact was often trivial. Participants who allowed their dogs to sleep in the bed or bedroom reported a satisfactory sleep score of 80–83%. These findings indicate that for many, the benefits of a canine sleeping partner outweigh minor disturbances. To ensure your puppy is well-behaved, consider teaching them top commands to teach puppy for better overall conduct.

Navigating Intimacy with a Four-Legged Observer

The topic of intimacy with a dog present in the bed often elicits humorous anecdotes, but for many couples, it’s a source of genuine discomfort or even fear. Dr. Gavriele-Gold emphasizes the significance of this concern: “Some people are afraid the dog is watching or they’re afraid the dog will interfere. I think it’s very significant.” He stresses the need for considerable discussion between partners.

To address this, a practical solution might be to implement “dog-free evenings” when intimacy is desired. More broadly, objections to a dog in the bed during intimate moments can sometimes point to deeper, unspoken issues within the relationship itself, related to how partners feel about sex and each other. Open and honest communication is vital to ensure both partners feel heard and respected, fostering a healthy environment for both the relationship and the pet.

Golden Retriever laying down under a blanket.Golden Retriever laying down under a blanket.

When Your Partner Is Right: Time for a New Sleeping Spot

There are specific situations where a dog’s presence in your bed is genuinely problematic, making the decision to remove them a practical necessity. Puppies or senior dogs who struggle with bladder control and can't make it through the night without urinating should not be sleeping between the pillows. Similarly, dogs that exhibit reactive behavior when suddenly woken may pose a safety risk.

Life changes can also necessitate a shift in sleeping arrangements. The arrival of new family members, particularly babies, can be a rocky time for a dog’s established household place. Some dogs might resent the intrusion or perceive a loss of attention, leading to behavioral issues. Additionally, adding another body can simply make the bed too crowded for comfort. If your dog spends time outdoors, ensuring you know how to get dog to come inside with a reliable command can facilitate smoother transitions at night.

Smoothly Transitioning Your Dog Out of Bed

If you decide it’s time to how to get a dog out of your bed that is accustomed to sleeping with you, a gradual approach is key. Start by transitioning your dog to a designated sleeping spot on the floor beside your bed. Once they are comfortable there, you can gradually move their bed outside the bedroom. For puppies, understanding when to use a leash on puppy can also aid in establishing boundaries and routines.

If the goal is to keep your dog in the room but not on the bed, consider crate training them. Crates provide a secure, den-like space that many dogs find comforting. Alternatively, an elevated dog bed placed near your bed can offer a similar vantage point, fulfilling their desire to survey the room without being directly on your mattress. Many dogs also appreciate warmth, especially those breeds that love to burrow under covers. Providing blankets in their new bed or positioning their crate near a heat source can make the transition more comfortable and appealing, ensuring they feel secure and warm in their new sleeping arrangement.

Ultimately, the decision of where your dog sleeps is a personal one, but when disagreements arise, understanding the underlying concerns and employing thoughtful, consistent training strategies can help you find a harmonious solution for everyone involved.

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